Family meetings can be a discussion group of events, feelings, changes, plans, intentions, rules, expectations, praise, support and the whole family to come and speak. Most importantly, the whole family sits together at the same time, referring to the meeting. You may find that hard soft to sit in this process, so that they can only be part of the session recorded. Or is it can best meet children to donate time to keep the kids in bed. Some young people, they fail time for their younger siblings, or family problems not directly debate to spend on their immediate needs context. But if you adopt as an integral part of your family to reduce the difficulties and obstacles in the course of time, as each child parents are realizing the benefits.
Benefits of family reunions
Reunion of families, by every child and every parent deals with the right emotions to enhance learning. It also gives families the opportunity to practice listening and speaking and the art of negotiation and resolution of conflict. But, the family firm evidence for the importance of the family and give each family member a chance to offer, or seek protection together.
When they get older, the children and young people learn that they are extremely difficult issues are hostile. Teach the parents and their children, important questions can offer solutions when appropriate opportunity to present.
Heather told me about some family reunions affected their ability to relate their parents.
Heather history:
Heather, 21, is a qualified nurse. She hopes to work in a Third World country and want to postpone marriage and children until she was older, "like maybe 30" (here I feel old). Heath grew up in a family with two parents, David stayed in the suite was half cut out of the house, she has a younger sister and brother.
Heather told me that her family always family events. She says she remembers her mother put a pencil and paper to keep on the table, her younger sister spent, while the others held their meetings, how proud they are that at the age of 6, she is old enough to participate fully in could, instead of boring the viewer, like her sister was three years old.
"We, the family met almost all our children had nothing happens otherwise, it is usually different than at the beginning of each school year and after Christmas, when these were the moments when our parent classes was recorded. We had them after the Table dropped. We do register, and we alternately opening the conference. When we were little, it mainly mum and dad to tell us what happened this week. I thought that I was not very spontaneous by nature, the I feel that I was helping run for my life. "
Heather was the tone and purpose of the meetings has changed, as she and her brother grew older.
"As we get started with the fee and would like to do things with our friends, we are negotiating to have a family as a place to make money and stop. My brother and I will try, for money or more after the start of the curfew to unite, but never worked for us. Mom and Dad had their rules and standards, and they fixed it. If we have problems with my uncle, we are family, we were able to get them to work through him. "(Dudu period of alcohol abuse that was a time of hardship for the whole family).
I asked Heather what the family.
"What I liked most was talking with my parents, as most of my friends. It's not very cool when it does, but because we know we bring the whole team relaxed problems-like atmosphere, we have used only to do it. Now I'm older I am, I believe that my family supports me a team, as I said earlier used. I think we are family informally, mainly through e-mail. one of us all be problems in our lives, and copy it to anyone. We get feedback and ideas to support each other. Most of my friends are kind of kinship and support exchanged with friends, but my family is still my number one to go when I need to talk. "
About a month after the interview, as Heather me and told me she thought about it and she realized that something they really like a family.
"We have our meetings as a form of advertising on the site. So if I get a good score in one of the subjects for my bad, my brother was really something exciting happening at school, we would say, and everyone clapped. I did it arrive at any moment, but in retrospect I can see how good I felt appreciated by my parents and siblings. remember brothers and sisters often about things that nice to each other when they are children, but the family gave us a chance to do together . I do not think most of my friends have this kind of official recognition of their families. "
Historically
You look through history, I noticed a prototype, which the family day was a famous, perhaps mythical, the Round Table of King Arthur's court of Camelot. I thought it would be a good example here, because basically, according to legend, the king took the Knights of the couple bickering (which is not known in the communication skills wanted each of the first to win) and gave them all sound alike in decisions to decide the empire, such as distributing resources. Dialogued and knights used to clarify verbal problem solving skills, different problems. Arthur, like a king, was the final arbiter in conflicts in which they could not reach an agreement, but it is how these family meetings where parents have the final word.
In any event, the Round Table was a major improvement in the style of the former Knights of conflict resolution, which was drawing swords, fight to the death, killing other opponents of the Brothers stormed castles. Pay for ordinary people is that they are not with a gallant charge of their environment they work to live for military service if they the next village that the knights and need the money before the war, invasion, could be used used for a minimum of social services are currently available (bridges, ships and what not).
The same process works in family gatherings. Instead of arguing things families individually, the majority of the family rules negotiated at a family gathering, when someone with an entrance at the same time. And if the whole family in deciding how to allocate family resources are involved, there is less chance of the claim in the future when people realize that the decision does not work so well in their favor.
When a group of noisy knights who are used to solve conflicts were with the sword, can learn to use this format solution, guess what your children learn the same way.
Family gathering skills
Family gatherings are vulnerable to fears and problems when you first start it. Children do not want to understand, children, adults take power game to try it, and everyone could mess on the agenda. It can also be difficult and disturb not the time with other activities. And if your children at different stages of maturity, it can be a challenge to all major routes, it must be kept carefully, as you progress to be found through the calendar.If you think you want to try, with family gatherings as a way to strengthen your family, these tips can be helpful for you.
o Has the same time and place it on reserve Schedule weekly or bi-weekly. To place and maintain functional, all family members must understand that their presence is necessary. Choose the evening, when other activities disturb or Holidays. If there are special programs on TV at the same time, they agree to take for later viewing.
o Enter the "General". Each participant. Everyone has to go. Nobody bothers. All positive. No teasing or intent is permitted.
o Start with an agenda issues. All I can say what you, what would he be able to be included as a formal agenda.
o Keep a record. Someone designated to keep notes. This could change weekly, or it can be assigned to a specific person. Every topic you read the results. This is useful later, when disagreement over what was said. Store the nuts in a baby book that is not used for other purposes.
o Start with a positive note. Start the meeting with each person says something positive happens in the week. Some families want to see every family member that something special was another family member, or want to be different, both personally and each family member tell the kindness they have experienced or done for them.
o Use the talking stick. A candle, or an empty toilet paper roll or fold, etc. can be used. The rule is that only someone who has the talking stick may speak and the others must wait for their train.
o Consider the attention span of people. Very young children or people with ADHD or learning difficulties can not sit for an extended period. Are pencils and paper, or drawing tools, clay or play, these families have fun with, while the others remain to questions. You will find that there are less than reliable and successful process.
o With the moderators. When the process first starts or when the children are very young, the parents will be moderate. This means that they are role models to prevent interference for negotiating skills, take notes, are making the agenda is another. Is as kids get older, or the family is used for this kind of meeting, another person can be assigned the role of moderator for a week.
o Turn off distractions. TV, radio or other audio / visual distraction must be turned off to meet family.
o Set the mood. Children often enjoy the ceremony to add events to consider in such a way to turn off the lights and sit by candlelight. Or provide for a clean desk, plates began to move, and there is plenty of room for elbows leaning, reaching, as you move the stick to talk. Alternatively, you should always consider showing a vase of fresh flowers or a plant, a symbol of beauty and health, at the hearing.
o You can snack on the table. Children and adolescents may be at a long table when you have a few snacks. Raw vegetables, cheese and vegetables, can help everyone, so that it focuses. If you have a family meeting right after lunch replace, the desert.
o Use the forum for private matters. If you have problems with your spouse or children who are really personal to that person, you keep it off the agenda. Appreciate no child or young person, that the subjects taken from the rest of the family. Curfew, allowances, generally, are perfect here. However, deciding what to do about twelve had just been caught shoplifting should be done privately (do not try to tell me I'm not the only one whose children slip from time to time).
o Use the forum's role modeling, and practice speaking and listening skills. This show is a great place for parents, children, how to talk and how to listen to each other. The rest of the week can be hectic and complicated things, but just like eating at Grandma's, a great place to practice good table manners family a great place to practice how to speak and hear.
o At the end of the ceremony. This is a prayer, or perhaps family members gather together and say "thank you" tune, or family member can thank others, listen and do. The ceremony itself is less important than what it represents, namely the meeting and the recognition to include the contributions.
Family meetings are to remain connected to mention a positive and effective way for families that all the weekly main source of care and support. These meetings are children and teenagers in the family to participate as partners in communication, in order to realize the significant contribution to the strength of the family.